Each era has its superheroes, and the Trump era may have finally stumbled across one for the ages. You may remember him from such hits (well, hit) as “Because I Got High” — the chill, stoner, self-mocking classic of 2000. But way back then, we had no idea that Afroman’s true masterpiece was yet to come. And here it is: a viral 2022 album called Lemon Pound Cake, which comprises a series of songs about a botched police raid on his home.
In August 2022, the Adams County Sheriff’s Office in Ohio sent seven officers to Joseph Edgar Foreman’s crib with a warrant to search for evidence for drugs, drug trafficking, and kidnapping — based on a confidential informant who claimed the house had “a basement, referred to as ‘the dungeon,’ in which [he] keeps women locked in.” Shockingly, they found only trace amounts of weed and no kidnapped anything — he doesn’t even have a basement — and no charges were ever filed. (Where, one wonders, does Afroman actually keep his stash?)
He wasn’t home at the time, but his ex-wife and two young kids were — and they were understandably upset. On the security tapes, Afroman could see the cops wrecking his gate, smashing through his front door, giving the cameras a middle finger before disconnecting them, and ransacking the place. It’s the kind of outrage that might drive a man to some serious lawsuits and enraged activism, or a BLM-style meltdown on social media.
But nah. Afroman chose humor and music and free expression. To raise money for the damaged property, he made a bunch of goofy music videos splicing footage of the raid with him singing various wacky lyrics, ridiculing a cop eyeing a lemon pound cake in the kitchen, fat-shaming another he insinuated was a lesbian called “Licc’em Low Lisa,” and claimed he was screwing one of the cop’s wives. The title track of Lemon Pound Cake was sung to the tune of “Under the Boardwalk”:
The Adams County Sheriff kicked down my door Then I heard the glass break They found no kidnapping victims Just some lemon pound cake…
Mama’s lemon pound cake It tastes so nice It made the sheriff wanna put down his gun And cut him a slice (of what? of what? …
I guess you have to see the security camera showing the chubby officer’s wandering eye to really LOL, but the whole thing is so whimsical, silly, and sane that it doesn’t really matter. Among the other tracks, for example, are “Why You Disconnecting My Video Camera?” and “Will You Help Me Repair My Door?” You get the gist.
The 21st Century twist, however, is that the poor wittle white cops were so upset by being woasted in these videos, they did the woke thing and sued Afroman for $3.9 million, which would have easily bankrupted him. The defamation trial had some fantastic moments, and the whiny cops walked right into a Streisand effect: so many more people saw the videos — 20 million views and counting — because they sued over them than if they’d just ignored them.
But there was also a kind of Frank Capra mini-speech from Afroman, delivered in that deep Barry White bass that gives such a Chef-vibe of calm, amused wisdom. Asked whether he thought he had a right to ridicule and humiliate brave police officers, Afroman replied:
After they run around my house with guns and kick down my door, I’ve got the right to kick a can in my backyard, use my freedom of speech, turn my bad times into a good time. Yes I do! And I think I’m a sport for doing so. ‘Cause I don’t go to their house, kick down their doors, flip them off on their surveillance cameras, then try to play the victim and sue them.
Fuck yeah. A rebuke of victimology. An embrace of free speech. A defense of the citizen against the powers of the state. A sense of humor and grace. A black man in a giant suit and shades made up entirely of stars and stripes showing what an American citizen ought to be: a prickly, funny, no-whining celebrant of the American underdog, with a good ear for a rhyme.
America is still out there — its spirit cowed in this era of illiberalism, fear and corruption, but not gone. Black or white, or any other skin color, its spirit is unmistakable, if as elusive these days as Afroman’s actual stash. This shit will pass, it says to us, however bleak it now seems. Hope is not the same as optimism, of course. It’s better. It’s an act of faith in America. And as long as an Afroman wins in court, that faith isn’t entirely misplaced.
(Note to readers: This is an excerpt of The Weekly Dish. If you’re already a paid subscriber, click here to read the full version. This week’s issue also includes: my criticism of Coleman Hughes’ piece on the Israel lobby; a chat with Jonah Goldberg about the state of conservatism; reader dissents over just war theory and Iran; five notable quotes from the week in news, including two Yglesias Awards; 19 pieces on Substack we recommend on a variety of topics; a classic Mental Health Break from Afroman; an eerily beautiful window in Germany; and, of course, the results of the View From Your Window contest — with a new challenge. Subscribe for the full Dish experience!)
A new subscriber just paid up because “I appreciate a conservative voice that doesn’t just parrot what he’s expected to.” Another newcomer:
My late husband started reading you in The New Republic and I have loosely followed you since. The Dish has always had an intelligent, thoughtful, and kind approach to social issues.
“Not Even Significantly Influential”
Coleman Hughes is a brilliant and charming fellow, but he made an unserious argument this week. He wrote that “the idea that [the Israel lobby] ... even significantly influences our foreign policy is total nonsense driven by ideology.”
That’s news to anyone with a pulse in DC.
(Read the rest of that thousand-word piece here, for paid subscribers.)
New On The Dishcast: Jonah Goldberg
Jonah is a journalist, author, and podcaster. He spent two decades at National Review before joining The Dispatch, where he writes the G-File and hosts the Remnant podcast. He’s also a columnist for the LA Times, a commentator for CNN, and a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. The author of Liberal Fascism, The Tyranny of Clichés, and Suicide of the West, Jonah is one of a handful of thoughtful conservatives who have kept their soul this past decade.
Listen to the episode here. There you can find two clips of our convo — on how Oakeshott is needed more than ever, and how dogs make us more human. Speaking of dogs, here’s a note from “a subscriber who is sick of your repetitive rants on Trump but loves your non-political pods — with Kathryn Paige Harden, for example”:
I just ran across a NYT book review you wrote in 1996 about Dog Love by Marjorie Garber. It begins:
There are, it seems to me, three categories of people when it comes to dogs. There are those who have no contact with or particular fondness for dogs; those who have grown up with dogs and enjoy some affectionate familiarity with them; and then there are “dog people,” who, for some reason or other, assign to dogs — and to the love of dogs — a kind of virtue unknown even to saints.
I place myself in the second category. Marjorie Garber is clearly, hopelessly, in the third. The significance she ascribes to dogs, the profundity she sees in human relations with dogs, the depth of passion and knowledge she brings to the subject — all these are, I’m afraid, beyond me.
I believe you have softened a bit over the last three decades!
Yes! But that was before my first beagle. Jonah is also a dog lover, so Truman naturally gravitated toward him in the studio:
Browse the Dishcast archive for an episode you might enjoy. Coming up: Jeffrey Toobin on the pardon power, Derek Thompson on abundance, Tom Holland on the Christian roots of liberalism, Tiffany Jenkins on privacy in a liberal democracy, Adrian Wooldridge on “the lost genius of liberalism,” Greg Lukianoff on free speech, and Tom Junod on his memoir and masculinity. As always, please send any guest recs, dissents, and other comments to dish@andrewsullivan.com.
A new subscriber writes:
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On behalf of all of us who have made the Dishcast part of our weekly routine, please keep up the great work.
A reader responds to last week’s column, “A War Against Our Own Values”:
The war in Iran may very well be a bad war to fight, and skeptics like yourself could end up being totally vindicated. But we’ve had a casus belli against Iran since 1979. They routinely target American personnel and assets, and routinely threaten to destroy our nation. As far as moral justifications for war, that’s all we need.
Dissembling the exact meaning of “imminent threat” like some Belgian lawyer is not something Americans traditionally do. A close reading of US military history will tell you this war is not “against our values.” From Andrew Jackson to William Sherman to Harry Truman, these are EXACTLY what our military values are.
This war may be a blunder, but it’s not a crime. The only way it becomes an “unjust war” is if we lose.
Sorry but no. The rules we created for a sane world require an imminent threat.
Read more dissents here, and more are on the pod page. Please keep the criticism coming: dish@andrewsullivan.com. And follow more Dish debate in my Notes feed.
This is a feature in the paid version of the Dish spotlighting about 20 of our favorite pieces from other Substackers every week. This week’s selection covers subjects such as the coming recession, airline debacles, and legal victories against social media. Examples:
The Reflector pod is airing a mini-series on how the gay rights movement became “LGBTQ”.
Montaigne would have published a killer substack. But would always be editing it.
Here’s a list of the substacks we recommend in general — call it a blogroll. If you have any suggestions for “In the ‘Stacks,” especially ones from emerging writers, please let us know: dish@andrewsullivan.com.
The View From Your Window Contest
Where do you think it’s located? Email your guess to contest@andrewsullivan.com. Please put the location — city and/or state first, then country — in the subject line. Proximity counts if no one gets the exact spot. Bonus points for fun facts and stories. The deadline for entries is Wednesday at 11.59 pm (PST). The winner gets the choice of a VFYW book or two annual Dish subscriptions. If you are not a subscriber, please indicate that status in your entry and we will give you a free month sub if we select your entry for the contest results (example here if you’re new to the VFYW). Contest archive is here. Happy sleuthing!
The results for this week’s window are coming in a separate email to paid subscribers later today. Here’s an entry from our resident chef last week:
In 1981–82, my wife and I traveled through the Middle East and Europe for her doctoral thesis research on Islamic art and architecture: Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Turkey, Italy, France, East Germany, Ireland, and England, visiting both the sources and the colonizers’ museums. I remember saying when I looked at her Fulbright application that nobody would buy this; it looked like a junket. In Amman, we stayed at the American Center of Oriental Research, which has since dropped the “Oriental” but conveniently adopted the “of” to maintain the acronym.
A friendly British architectural historian drove us out to Qasr Tuba following invisible tracks in the desert, which worried me because GPS had not been invented yet. I don’t have any photos of that trip in my archive, but here is a photo from Wikipedia, next to a photo of me from that time about to head into Petra with a guide. (I’m the one on the horse.)
It was such a wonderful trip. And it is painful now to think of the places we visited in Syria that are gone or severely damaged.
Moving on to this millennium and the VFYW dinner, the national dish of Jordan is mansaf — stewed lamb with jameed (a fermented yoghurt) on a bed of rice and topped with almonds and parsley. I was apprehensive about this dish. When I went to the local Middle Eastern market to find jameed, the shopkeeper asked me, “Have you had it before?” When I said no, he said, “It has a kick to it — if you don’t like the mansaf, bring it to me and I’ll eat it.” Then I found this recipe, with the preamble:
growing up, I never loved mansaf. To be fair, I had only tried it at restaurants. And every time I did, I disliked the slightly fermented flavour of jameed along with a strong gaminess from the lamb.
So I bought some hot dogs as a backup. I needn’t have worried, however. It turned out to be delicious, with a fattoush salad on the side and a dessert of baklava:
P.S. Thanks for offering to give my new substack a mention! Here’s a short blurb you could use or adapt:
The VFYW super-chef has launched a substack called Mathematical Musings — a free, open conversation about how we learn and teach math, from how the youngest kids can discover theorems, to why some things in the math curriculum never die, to more than you wanted to know about fourteen sevenths.
